The meeting place of great strength, power, trust, receptivity and openness.
When I found out my sister was pregnant, I knew I wanted to be there to witness her birthing and meeting this human that would change her.
I had a conversation with my soul and connected to the great meaning this experience would provide.
My sister is the person I feel the most connected with. This would be the closest I’d come to birthing again, which I’d fantasized about doing to see what my experience would be after years of embodiment practices. The practicalities of rearing another child were less than appealing.
We decided I’d come to Dayton, KY on December 1st and stay for two weeks hoping the little one would come in that generous window. We paid for a changeable ticket so that if I needed to extend my stay, I could.
Jessica, Scott and I did ceremonies together, invoking our ancestors, singing songs, giving thanks, playing drums, creating space for this new human to join us.
The two weeks were full of conversation, conflict, communication, understanding, bonding, generosity, excitement, frustration, aversion and overwhelm.
The date of my intended flight home came and with much turmoil decided to stay longer. My objective had not been met. This would mean missing the start of my son’s first trip home from college and being out of my life, rhythm and routine a little longer.
The decision was made. The next day I decided to make a foot bath for my sister. I gathered bath salts with little dried rose buds and some jojoba oil. We found a plastic tub for the foot bath, lit candles and set her up on her hearth. I sang songs to her, rubbed her calves, ankles and feet. We put our intentions into the water and into the space.
When we were done, Jessica stood up and commented on how grounded her feet felt. That they were on fire.
She went into the bathroom and passed some of her mucus plug. She knew we were beginning the active part of this birth process. We were ready.
It wasn’t long before her regular contractions began. They came on quickly and intensely. I had left the house to drop our brother off to a friend’s wedding celebration. Scott was texting me with updates…”another contraction”, “this is happening”, “another”, “they’re coming pretty quickly.” I picked up pizza for us, knowing we were in for a long night.
I stepped into the birthing zone. Candles were lit. My sister’s birth playlist was filling the space. My sister was internal and quiet. She didn’t want to be touched, but she did want us to be there with her. She met her contractions with acceptance and bewilderment. She was dancing with the unknown. She knew she was in the process. She knew the way out was through. She did not know exactly how she was going to get there. She was perplexed that the intensity she was experiencing could go on for several more hours. She repeated, “I don’t understand.”
The midwife came to check on her. Jess was extremely dehydrated. She hadn’t really eaten much and she was 3-4 cm dilated. Fully effaced. The midwife said we would be at this for awhile. That the focus should be hydrating Jess, getting some nutrition in her, getting her comfortable so she could rest in between contractions. I made an electrolyte drink and started insisting she take sips between contractions. We fed her applesauce and fruit bars. She accepted this focus, although she couldn’t comprehend that she would be at this for many more hours. We moved her up to her bedroom.
Scott and I worked together to encourage Jess to let go completely of a contraction once it subsided. To take the moment of rest in preparation for the next. She did this gracefully.
Her tones changed very soon after we made the transition. There was a wildness to the sounds coming from her. It reminded me of listening to my grandmother when she was close to death. Other worldly. Guttural. Animal. She sounded like the witch I had a sense she was, but now knew it undeniably. Her attunement to her body and her baby was beautiful to witness. This was one of the reasons I had so badly wanted to be there. She knew her body was moving this baby down and getting ready to push her into being.
Although the sounds Jessica was making told me we were in transition and the baby would be here soon, it didn’t match up with what the midwife had projected. Imagine our surprise when Scott and I saw some of the amniotic sac hanging out of my sister. Scott looked at me and mouthed the words, “Are you worried?” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was seeing. I had never been this involved in the birth process without a professional present. I was unsure and overwhelmed, but I told Scott, “No, I am, not worried.” We had the midwife on the phone giving her the updates of where we were in the process. One contraction later and Jessica is asking “Where is the baby?” and Scott is telling the midwife, “We have a head.”
I am down at my sister’s bottom, asking her to take a pause to give her perineum time to adjust before the final pushing out of the baby. In that moment, we are united by the single focus of bringing this baby out to join the living. Through the passage way of creation.
The baby is born in her sac, en caul. I swipe it away to uncover her mouth and nose. The midwife tells us to put her on Jessica’s chest. She tells us how far away she is and that she will be there soon. The baby is blueish purple. Her bottom looks like exposed adipose tissue. I am taking in what I am seeing, not fully understanding.
My sister says, “Sarah, what do we need to do to get the baby breathing?” I rub the baby’s back with the towel we have wrapped around her and my sister. Scott runs downstairs to get the birthing kit. We pull out the blue suction bulb. I put it in the baby’s mouth to clear her airways. I take a peek to see that she is, in fact, a she.
My sister is exhausted. Her eyes are rolling back in her head. She is shaking and saying how cold she is. The placenta is still inside. I want to wait for the midwife to come. Scott asks if we should be concerned about Jess hemorrhaging.
The baby is breathing. The cord is moved from the taut position it was in around the baby’s back. We have birthed this baby. I got to catch her and place her on my sister’s chest. The midwife and her assistant arrive. She helps my sister birth the placenta, get’s her and the bed cleaned up, helps her empty her bladder and surveys the after birth scene.
This solid team of three has experienced the fruition of our intentions, efforts and visions. This is one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I am grateful to have had the clarity to want to be there and the warm invitation to be there for this powerful process.
